Help Teens Know Who They Are
Did you feel a yearning to understand what you believed and what you wanted to do with your life as a teenager? Are you still feeling it now? This seems to be a thought we have while progressing through life and usually begins during adolescence. Self-identity allows us to be “active agents in choosing, altering, and modifying” our identity to become our best selves in our personal and cultural lives (Kroger, 2004, p. 4). As children become adolescents, their bodies develop adult features and their brains begin to think in more complex and abstract ways than ever before (Arnett, 2018; Wallis & Dell, 2004). In other words, they begin to question who they are and how they will fit into society.
Cultural and Peer Influence
The peer group is an important avenue through which a teenager transitions from their family to the wider adult society (Dunphy, 1963). This allows adolescents to view and experience a more complex world than the family can provide. In this way, friends help guide behaviors as teens try to find their self-identity (Billy & Udry, 1985; Biddle, Bank, & Marlin, 1980). Each gender explores their identity in different ways. Sharp, Coatsworth, Darling, Cumsille, and Ranieri found that girls report being more self-defined when they have more intimate socializations and richer participation in instrumental and literacy programs. However, boys find more fulfillment in physical activities (2007).
Teens spend much of their time with peers, however time spent in religious and cultural activities provide “strong identifying experiences that provide their sense of self” (Sharp et al., 2017, p. 264). Culture, religion, and ethnicity all influence how people identify, define, and view themselves. The more strongly they identify with their ethnic group, the more positive their self-esteem will be for both adolescent boys and girls (Rhea & Thatcher, 2013; Umana-Taylor & Guimond, 2010). However, it is ultimately up to the teen’s interpretation of their culture and ethnicity that defines their self-esteem.
Parental Influence
So now you must be asking, where do I come in as a parent if my teenagers main influences are from outside resources? Although peer interaction highly influences adolescents’ social development, their parents’ opinions are still highly important to them. In fact, teenagers are more behaviorally and emotionally prosperous when their parents express care and are available for serious discussions (Ackard, Neumark-Sztainer, Story, & Perry, 2006). Biddle et al. also found that parents have increasingly more influence on their teenagers when they consistently impose, support, and model norms but tend to lose their ability when they falter on expectations (1980). Patrick and Gibbs expound on this idea that moral socialization is built upon teenagers’ moral identity, and that moral identity is developed through their parents’ love, acceptance, and inductive discipline (2016).
However, studies have shown that difficulties may arise between parents and their teenagers when parents are unwilling to extend independence in order to keep them close to the family (Montemayor, 1983). Over-controlling parenting, like this example, can promote increasing development of disruptive and antisocial behavior in teens (Vera, Granero, & Ezpeleta, 2012). The overall message is that parents should clearly state and uphold norms but also encourage and support their adolescents during this phase of their life.
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References
Ackard, D. M., Neumark-Sztainer, D., Story, M., & Perry, C. (2006). Parent–child connectedness
and behavioral and emotional health among adolescents. American Journal of Preventive Medicine, 30(1), 59-66. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.amepre.2005.09.013
Arnett, J.A. (2018). The self. In S. LeMay-Finn, A. Chow, and C. Turner (Eds.),
Adolescence and emerging adulthood (pp. 161-187). Hoboken, NJ: Pearson Education,
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Billy, J. O., & Udry, J. R. (1985). Patterns of adolescent friendship and effects on sexual behavior. Social Psychology Quarterly, 48(1), 27-41.
Buckley, T. R., & Carter, R. T. (2005). Black adolescent girls: Do gender role and racial identity impact their self-esteem?. Sex Roles, 53(9-10), 647-661. doi:10.1007/s11199-005-7731-6
Child Development Institute. (n.d.). How to help children and teens develop healthy self esteem.
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Dunphy, D. C. (1963). The social structure of urban adolescent peer groups. Sociometry, 26(2), 230-246.
Figure 1. Alice in Wonderland quote (2018). Retrieved from
Kroger, J. (2004). Adolescents and the problem of identity: Historical, socio-cultural and
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self and other (pp. 1-14 ). New York, NY: Psychology Press.
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Rhea, D. J., & Thatcher, W. G. (2013). Ethnicity, ethnic identity, self-esteem, and at-risk eating disordered behavior differences of urban adolescent females. Eating Disorders, 21(3), 223-237. doi:10.1080/10640266.2013.779177
Sharp, E. H., Coatsworth, J. D., Darling, N., Cumsille, P., & Ranieri, S. (2007). Gender
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